# Just a thought



## fishouttawater (Mar 4, 2005)

Okay, I have, like I have mentioned before, spent a LOT of time this last week reading posts to learn about our new tank and fish. There is something I would like to mention, and if it gets me kicked out of here, so be it. At least it will be said. I come here for help. I come here because I realize, AFTER the purchase of my fish that I don't know what I am going. However, I am now kind of afraid of asking questions, cause an OVERWHELMING response to all times people try to get help is, buy an ocean, spend $600 on a different tank, cause that one is all wrong, how would you like to be stuck in a closet, etc. A bit of advice is nice, as you fall in love with your fish and hobby, you will begin to realize that more money and bigger tanks is going to be obvious. In the meantime however, the actual ANGER towards us STUPID CUSTOMERS, is actually overwhelming. When it all comes down to it, please consider this:

I went to the store to get a fish for a pet, I plan to do what I can to help it.

My neighbor went to the store to get fish for dinner, he plans to eat it. 

Please, think about the fact that some of us will learn, some of us will not, but, all situations cannot be fixed overnight, give us time, be patient. 

Like I said, I am afraid to ask anymore questions, I am afraid it will be pointed out for all to see how stupid I am. That isn't my fault. I have become quite uncomfortable, and wish that some people could stay realistic about it, I could never eat fish, it is a pet, but to so many people, they are food. Keep in mind, while I am making lots of mistakes, I am not eating it.


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## fishfreaks (Jan 19, 2005)

you are right. i would never eat fish! just because i think its disgusting, id much rather keep them as pets!!


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## (RC) (Jan 18, 2005)

I had fish for dinner. Don't worry about a few people here that seem to think they were born with the knowledge to keep fish alive. Many people don't really know 1/2 what they think they do. Take the good advice you find and ignore the rest. 99% of all the people here just want to help.


RC


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## fish_doc (Jan 31, 2005)

Im not sure how you have taken any of my posts but I am sorry if any of my responses have seemed harsh. Im sure I speak for most of us here when I say sometimes we do get involved with our hobby and speak with more intrest in the fish and their health than the feelings of people keeping them. Somthing we all need to work on is saying things in a way to get our point across without making someone feel dumb. Everyone is here to learn even the more experienced ones. I can remember buying a 10 gallon and a ton of fish that grow over a foot when I first started but I learned the hard way. The internet wasnt around or at least as accessable back then. 

Thanks for pointing this out and I hope everyone here reads your post and keeps it in mind.


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## fishouttawater (Mar 4, 2005)

Well, I hope I didn't make that sound like everyone here is being abusive, I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to point out that some of us here are that stupid customer, and we are trying. Right at the moment, wish you all could see my shark, he has lost his marbles, need to add a "fishcam" option to this, to say, here guys, check this out. He has spent the last 30 minutes doing a twist and circle in the top corner. He needs and audience to show off to i think. :roll:


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## fishouttawater (Mar 4, 2005)

Meet Bruce :mrgreen:


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## fish_doc (Jan 31, 2005)

I love the natural stone in your tank. I have natural colored stone in all the tanks I have set up. My wife seems to choose the colored stuff but I think after 10 years I am convincing her the natural colors are better. :lol: 

Is he the almighty Bruce? :king:


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## fishouttawater (Mar 4, 2005)

In finding Nemo, the 12-step sharks are Bruce, Chum, and Anchor. We ended up with a red-finned shark, and albino red-finned, and "Bruce". Just happened we had three and we had three. Silly I know, but we have a 5 year old son and a 10 year old daughter. They are working on names for the rest of the fish out of the movie. :roll:


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## Damon (Jan 18, 2005)

Well there are no stupid people, just misinformed or uneducated ones. 
As you are learning, fishkeeping isn't difficult, as long as you do the research and are willing to except help. Most everyone here wants to help , and as fishdoc stated, we are all not as elequent with our words. Some here don't speak english as a native tongue so that can hurt your interpetation of the post. Be at ease we are here to help and exchange ideas. Never be scared of asking a question. We all started out somewhere....... The more you read and interact, the more you will learn. Listen to your mods. They were picked for a reason if you are unsure of info you have recieved. They know most of the people on the boards. If they don't know the answer, they can point you in the right direction whether it be to someone who does (most of us have more experience with certain fish than the other fish we keep), or to good reading material. Just keep at it and you will find the hobby enjoyable.


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## Lydia (Feb 6, 2005)

i completely agree with fishouttawater.....i have had the same exact thing happen when one time i was asking how to cure ick and some people wouldnt reply to that part of the message, they would just berate me about how i had bala sharks in a 15 gallon, and i was trying to find someone to take them for me....alot of times the people that have the wrong sized fish for the tank have already been told that and are trying to remedy that...so i would suggest not saying anything about the persons fish if they are way too big or way to many unless they are asking about that specifically, or unless it is relevant to the question (like ammonia levels or something) i also suggest you read all the posts before you reply, because alot of times someone has already said that....*phew* im out of breath now....jk


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## Lexus (Jan 19, 2005)

Geez people, its contructive criticism. If you don't like hearing it don't read it/ ignore it. We're offering help and if you're fish are unsuitable we are going to tell you. People are getting way too sensitive.


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## fishouttawater (Mar 4, 2005)

See how sensitive you get when you are picked to peices and called stupid. Let's go to a subject you don't know about and are admitting that by asking for help and I will tear you to pieces, and see how you feel. I have taxpayers come into my office, and they do think that make me think, wow, i wonder why they can't get this, but i NEVER call them stupid customers. I never call them idiots. 

I can start quoting things if I need to show specifics. I plan to continue to ignore the ones I think are forgetting the point, I was just trying to speak for the meek that are too shy to. It is quite an entrance into this forum when you go for help and are slapped constantly with ANOTHER STUPID CUSTOMER STORY, ANOTHER IDIOT AND HER DAUGHTER, ANOTHER DUMB PERSON. Every other post refers to how many people are as smart as you think you are......wow is all i am saying. 

takes a big person to ask for help, consider that as you mature.


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## Damon (Jan 18, 2005)

Lydia, I understand where you are coming from. But keeping fish in tanks not suitable (the bala shark you used for example), deteriorates water conditions and invites disease and other illnesses. Ich, for example, doesn't affect healthy fish even when its present in a fishtank. Stress invites ich to invade fish because the fish's immunse system is weakened. So while I can agree that some answers are a little harsh and even unfounded, some answers are very warranted.


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## Lexus (Jan 19, 2005)

I WAS TORN APART when I first posted here before the site crashed... I would show you it if I could but as I said the site crashed. 

And the stupid customers I refer to are the ones who think they know everything and when told they cannot have that fish they go somewhere else to buy it or they try and gert the stuff they need for it but still doesnt cut it... as in the girl and her mother... she did not listen the first time, the second time or even the third, THAT is stupidity. Or the people that say they have had fish for years and act like they know what they are doing but don't. Its the people that are ignorant and refuse to learn that tick me off. 

Funny thing is, is that you are attacking us much like what you are accusing us of doing. :roll: 

Anyways this post would be best as locked and done with as this is going to be a huge argument.


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## Fishfirst (Jan 24, 2005)

Settle down everyone... Yes I agree... some people on here (I won't mention anyone in particular) take this way to seriously and are of no help when someone asks a question totally unrelated. But some of it has good cause for concern. 

Posters just remember this: Its not what you said, its HOW you said it. 

That is what people are getting all rilled up here in this post. 

Next time if you see an over stocked tank dont say... "WOW YOUR TANK IS WAY OVER STOCKED JEZZZ!"
instead say "Just to warn you, your tank list looks pretty crowded, you may want to give away some of your fish so you don't have future problems."


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## fishouttawater (Mar 4, 2005)

Like I said before, I most certainly didn't mean to cause an arguement, and for that I apologize, point has been made, and I am done with it. It would be nice if yes, the moderator would lock this subject now. An argument wasn't the intention. I am very sorry, I was having a very long and tiring day, and am quite upset over my fish and feel helpless at the moment, we are 100 miles from the nearest place to even buy fish food, 300 miles to the nearest actual pet store. My hands are so tied at the moment is all. I just needed help with what I have, I have no place to go to fix tank size etc at the moment. 29 gallons, 10 fish, and the whole thing is cycling, I don't want any living creature to suffer, but have to stay realistic too, they are after all, food to some people. sigh, again, from the bottom of my butt (as it is bigger than my heart) I AM SO SORRY that i opened this can of worms. and i am even more sorry if i upset anyone.


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## fish_doc (Jan 31, 2005)

Some of you are right in saying your tank is overstocked or you need to get rid of a few fish. But I also agree that you need to say it in a toned down manner. While at school do you learn better when you enjoy the class and things are presented in a fun fashion or when someone is yelling at you telling you how stupid you are. People come here to learn because they two care about their fish and want the best for them. They come here on their own and not because they are looking for a degree. So they can and will leave if they get a attitude from us. At that point we have ruined the whole reason for this forum. And like you said Lexus you like many others took a few harsh posts when you first came here. But that does not justify forwarding that attitude to other newbies. 
Like the one sales pitch goes. STOP THE MADNESS


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## Lydia (Feb 6, 2005)

Fishfirst @ Fri Mar 11 said:


> Settle down everyone... Yes I agree... some people on here (I won't mention anyone in particular)  take this way to seriously and are of no help when someone asks a question totally unrelated.  But some of it has good cause for concern.
> 
> Posters just remember this:  Its not what you said, its HOW you said it.
> 
> ...


i agree with him....its not so much WHAT you say as HOW you say it

and, simpte, i understand now that i shouldnt have got them, and i feel bad about it....but i dont think me getting them meritted me getting a whole lot of people basically telling me that my whole tank is screwed up and that i am an idiot....im trying to learn!!!! and i really appreciate everyones help, i just would like it better if people would make an effort to try to be nicer about it....

and, also, i do know one friend that i told about this forum that was chased off because of how harsh some people are...im not saying everybody is like that, just some people...and they arent like that all of the time, just sometimes...


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## thatsfishy (Jan 18, 2005)

How does it go again? _If the shoe fits, wear it _.... seems it fits perfectly in this thread ... :roll:


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## Guest (Mar 13, 2005)

i agree with fishfirst. its not the mentioning of the problem that attacks people, its how you told them. if you said it in a more polite or helping manner, people would get into arguments on the post like this.


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## Guest (Mar 13, 2005)

people wouldnt*


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