# 11 ways to terrify a telemarketer



## aquariumfishguy (Jan 18, 2005)

11. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

10. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

9. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the h-l she could know you from.

8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in a SINISTER voice , "I don't have any friends .. would you be my friend?"

7. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

6. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips. (LOVE THIS ONE!)

5. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give our credit card number to a complete stranger.

4. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good bye-and Hang up.

3. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

2. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

And first and foremost: 1. When they ask if they can speak to "Jane Doe," don't say she isn't home, just reply, "No you can not."


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## $hiny Fish d00d (Jan 22, 2005)

LOL man!

the first one is for sure the best.....i think i will try that one time

HINT: if you dont even want to hear the person at all, pick it up and say hello quickly, if you sense any hesitation hang up right away - its just a machine dialing random number waiting for a humans voice, and if you can hang up before the telemarketer can pick up.........YOU WIN :fun: :fun: :fun: lol like a game :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


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## shev (Jan 18, 2005)

I usually breathe hard and ask what theyre wearing. or talk french (poorly) i liked number 11.

has anybody heard the arnold shwartzinegger (sp but who cares its a hard name) phone messages? they take stuff out of movies of what he says and plays them to people on the phone with a soundboard.


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## aquariumfishguy (Jan 18, 2005)

You know, I almost feel sorry for people in this profession.….. almost.


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