# so long old friend.....



## Gills (Dec 16, 2008)

Preface: I'm a long time lurker, first time poster....

So, just wanted to see what some of the cichlid enthusiasts thought. I just lost my red devil compantion of 7+ years and am pretty sure out of my own neglegence. I won't go into the details, but I am surprised how upset this has made me :-( (Don't worry, I have plenty of close relationships with humans, although I'm getting bit annoyed at my close friends and family asking me 'so why don't you just go buy another?' )

Has anyone else grieved the loss of a fish? Am I going insane?? At some point I guess I will get another, but right now I don't even want to empty the tank...sigh


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## Knight~Ryder (Dec 2, 2007)

I wouldn't say your going insane. We can all form a bond with any type of animal or even material thing. It's the memory we hold onto that makes us feel a certain way. 

I myself don't have too much of a problem with death of anyone or anything. I know death isn't the ultimate end to anything. In fact I can rejoice in the life I was able to share with another person. Sometimes we can hold onto certain memories for our own (shall I say selfish) reasons because it makes us feel good. I know I finally had to come to terms with why I felt a certain way after someone had passed. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't holding onto anything just for my own reasons.

In true life, there is no death. How can life be life with death? That even goes for plants and animals. We are all here for a certain time and we move on as well, but it's what we do here that means more then our feelings. 

It's hard to explain, but I don't have a hard time with death anymore. Yes, I am human and I do feel something even for an ant when they die, but I know thats just my emotion and ultimately what lives forever is love. It was tough but I no longer let my emotions have control over me.

The hardest part is accepting, but no one needs to tell you youre wrong for what you feel, we all learn and grow. I hope soon in time you will be able to move on and realise that the love you showed in taking care of him/her still lives on and anything else that wasnt based out of love doesnt even exist!

It's nice to see that a person has a love for animals. It shows that we all arent selfish people just looking out for our own interests all the time.

I'm not sure how others will answer, but I hope this helps in some way, shape, or form.


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## fisherman85 (Dec 15, 2008)

me and my wife had to put our oscar of 2 years to sleep and it was kinda sad but we knew it was the best for him. now having no oscar in our 75 gallon tank gets me everytime i walk into the room.


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## smark (Dec 2, 2008)

I get Sad when we loose a fish because we get use to their personalities. 
Part of having such a strong bond is watching them get bigger and watching the personality develop. Let the grieving take its place and then go buy another fish and watch it grow into something special.
smark~


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## trashion (Aug 24, 2007)

Yeah, I had to give away some fish due to them needing a larger tank than I could provide...One was an albino skirt tetra named Gregory that I'd had for five years. I got a little sad when he went 

I had a dwarf puffer for 2 months who inexplicably died (probably internal parasites) She had tons of personality, and I loved seeing her zoom around the tank. When she died, I was very upset.

Hey, don't empty the tank, you'll have to cycle it all over again when you add new fish.


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## justintrask (Jun 29, 2008)

my first silver arowana that jumped ship made me almost cry. every fish is hard losing. I lost a few rusty cichlids last night to my polypterus, and I was upset this morning about it.

Sorry to hear about your loss


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## Gills (Dec 16, 2008)

hey thanks for the replies everyone. nice to know others have had similar sentiments. 
i enjoyed having a fish with such attitude. i knew nothing about aquarium care and very little about cichlids when i bought him back in the day (i mean, i thought a red devil would be a nice addition to a tank w/3 convicts---ha!) and now have developed a real interest in aquariums, and aquatic life in general. well, c'est la vie i guess. i'll miss the little hellion.


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## TTTT (Dec 13, 2008)

Sorry about your loss...


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## Obsidian (May 20, 2007)

I grieved the first inhabitant of my first tank almost 2 years ago. I had him less than 2 weeks, but he was cool. He was a dwarf gourami named ziggy bashful. Part of it was because I had no idea how to help him or what to do. This is one of the main reasons I won't ever do a cycle with fish again.


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