# Gifts for the man in your life.



## fish_doc (Jan 31, 2005)

Buying a Gift for Him. Since fathers day is comming up I thought I would help some of you out.

Rule #1:
When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It doesn't matter
if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17, and he
has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many
cordless drills. No one really knows why.

Rule #2:
If you can't afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with
the word 'ratchet' or 'socket' in it. Men love saying those
two words. Example: 'Hey, George, can I borrow your
half-inch ratchet?' 'OK. By the way, are you through with
my 3/8-socket yet?' Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3:
If you're really, really broke, buy him anything for his car.
A 99-cent ice scraper, a can of fuel additive, or mini-compass
to hang from his rearview mirror. Men love gifts for their
cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy him
scented soaps. Ever! 

Rule #5:
Buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they've
worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a
big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch
him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it
will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey
or beer (sometimes both at the same time!)

Rule #7:
Do not buy men shoes or boots. Unlike women, the average
real man owns only 2 or 3 pairs of shoes and boots, will
wear them until they literally rot away and is perfectly
happy. No one knows why.

Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. It's almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels everywhere.
'Sockets', 'Washers', 'Screw Clamps', 'Drill Bits', 'On',
'Off', '220v', 'Door','Refrigerator', etc. You get the idea.
Again, No one knows why.

Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything with 'Some Assembly Required' or
'Instructions Inside' on the box. It will ruin his Special
Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include sporting goods stores,
lumber yards, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and
tire stores. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers
are also excellent stores for men's stuff. It really doesn't
matter if he doesn't know exactly what it is. 'From NAPA, eh?
Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter solenoid
for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks!')

Rule #11:
Men crave danger. That's why they never cook but they will
barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound
propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. Oh, the thrill...
the challenge! 'Who wants a hamburger?'

Rule #12:
Tickets to a Buffalo Bills game or a box of ammo for his
favorite rifle are smart gifts. However, he simply won't
appreciate tickets to 'A Retrospective of 19th-Century Quilts.'
Everyone knows why.

Rule #13:
Men love chain saws. Never, ever buy a man you love a chain saw.
If you don't know why, please refer to Rule #8 and what happens
when he gets a label maker.

Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must
be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to frontier days,
or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a full
spool of 3/8' nylon or manila rope.


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## Lydia (Feb 6, 2005)

lmao......very true....and if you live in the south, buy him anything that has to do with fishing....lures, hooks, line, sinkers, ANYTHING!!


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## fishfreaks (Jan 19, 2005)

haha i think my dad would definatly go for number 5, he already has about 3 thousand and 2 different kinds of tools and i cant take it no more!


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## fishfreaks (Jan 19, 2005)

and even though were not in the south he would definatly go for the fishing stuff lydia


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## Ron the handyman (Jan 18, 2005)

Lydia @ Fri May 13 said:


> lmao......very true....and if you live in the south, buy him anything that has to do with fishing....lures, hooks, line, sinkers, ANYTHING!!



No No No if your in the south it NASCAR NASCAR NASCAR you yanks??? ops Im a dam yankY as they sayy :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: R.


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## fishfreaks (Jan 19, 2005)

hey its all about nascar up here to, especially if ur a *******


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## Lexus (Jan 19, 2005)

yes Nascar for the ******** around here... God I hate NASCAR


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## fishfreaks (Jan 19, 2005)

Lexus you said it!! :mrgreen: :roll: :roll:


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## fish_doc (Jan 31, 2005)

The chain saw is my downfall. The year we bought one we lost 5 trees in our backyard. LOL. Although a storm had taken out 3 and one month later another storm took out a 4th. The one we wanted down to start with stayed up through the storms.  So I took care of it on my own.


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## Pac-Man (Mar 18, 2005)

i dont know if im ever going to want a chain saw when i grow up..... (im not rly 25) at least not after i saw 5 minutes of the texas chainsaw massacre....eww


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## fish_doc (Jan 31, 2005)

How about that guy that killed his daugher and friend near me. He had just got out of jail for chasing people around with a chain saw. The hit him on the head with a shovel. Keep that in mind you may need one for protection. :lol:


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## shev (Jan 18, 2005)

heh, how true. I have 4 cordless drills, and 3 chain saws, and I like rope.


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## Pac-Man (Mar 18, 2005)

lol im not sure i want to live in your neighborhood fishdoc


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## Lydia (Feb 6, 2005)

shev @ Fri May 13 said:


> heh, how true. I have 4 cordless drills, and 3 chain saws, and I like rope.



are you actually 15???


and yes, nascar is a big thing around here too....but i live right by a marsh, a "creek" (pretty much a a river), and the ocean....so fishing is a really big thing around here


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## shev (Jan 18, 2005)

actually 16 now. well, my family has them, but I'm the only one that uses them.


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## fish_doc (Jan 31, 2005)

> lol im not sure i want to live in your neighborhood fishdoc


wasnt my neighborhood. It was about 60 miles away. Close enough though.


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## Osiris (Jan 18, 2005)

hmm I would love a dremal tool!


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## Lydia (Feb 6, 2005)

oh ok....i get yah


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## atltk (Feb 16, 2005)

..and soldering/welding stuff! I've yet to encounter a piece of metal that somehow couldn't be enhanced by adding another piece of metal to it (and yes, there is a cupholder on my lawnmovber that was not there when I bought it). I wont even go into my "chainsaw story," but heed the warnings, best not to give this to any guy, I could be in an empty field with nothing in sight but I'm sure I could still find _something _to use it on.


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## osteoporoosi (Jan 27, 2005)

We gave our old man a parachute jump, he did it yesterday. It was just awesome.


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